Mira & her Daadi

I was a bit disturbed when Daadi left Bangkok a couple of months back to head towards her house in Bhopal.

Daadi has been visiting us twice a year since as far back as I can remember. In fact, she has been visiting us since there was no "us" - Papa was a workaholic bachelor whose house could put any person with ordinary domestic skills to shame. A house where blankets pleaded to be folded, dust jeered at being preserved under the carpets and socks yearned to be paired with their correct soul mates yet again. Daadi's primary objective was to put the aforesaid house in order and then to spend some quality time with her long-separated son, if time permitted. Soon it was 2001 and Daadi's reasons for visiting had completely changed - it was time to bond with the daughter-in-law and teach her some face saving cooking so that our Bhopali neighbor doesn't undergo an unbearable torture called "Ghar ka khaana", on her only trip to Bangkok. September, 2006 and Mira appeared on the horizon - the most pleasurable, long-lasting and engaging reason till date for Daadi to come over and stay with us.

I was disturbed because Daadi had been for good 3 months with us and both Mira and she shared a special bond by now. Daadi's relationship with Mira was nothing like mine - she couldn't bathe her, massage her, run after her or do any of the physical stuff that took a toll on her health. But, there were other moments of companionship though. Every morning, while Daadi sipped her hot tea and glanced through the newspaper, Mira sat right next to her equally engrossed in her "Nursery Rhymes" book. The silence was regularly broken by "Aur yeh?" "Aur yeh?" as her little finger ran through unknown objects on the pages. Daadi was the one who introduced her to cakes, custard, eggs and her current favorite - chicken while I was so very happy serving the age old khichdi to her which was reluctantly but successfully finding its way through her mouth. Evenings were reserved for the kids' room and Daadi made it a point to be there each day. She sat in a corner making a mental note of her newly acquired skills while Mira happily slid through the yellow tunnel, rode in a toy car and climbed through a maze of ropes.

Initially, I was not too sure if Daadi was really bonding with Mira. She was constantly there but Mira was too brimming over with energy. Even on the bed, she was tempted to stand up and walk across every now and then only to be rescued by someone in the nick of time. The lack of physical involvement, I thought would probably get into the way but no, I was wrong. It was just a matter of few days and the signs of reciprocation were wide and clear. She was straight off to Daadi’s room as soon as she got up from sleep. She would climb onto the bed and sit exactly like her - her feet completely stretched out and back rested against a pillow, as another melodramatic saas-bahu serial played out on TV. She would suddenly get up from a partially played puzzle and bang on the bathroom door just to ascertain that Daadi is there, that Daadi is around.

I was worried that Mira will not take too kindly to Daadi’s sudden act of disappearance. I looked out for signs the next morning. Mira, as expected scooted off to Daadi’s room and then, went around the house looking for her. I told her that Daadi was off to India, now whatever that meant to a toddler’s little mind but I decided to deliver the truth – plain and simple. Another couple of days and she searched for her – sometimes in the TV room, sometimes in the kids’ room and sometimes in the balcony. But after that, things just got back to normal – after all, there are too many temptations available for a 20 month old to remain occupied and not slip into the deep recesses of unhappiness. Temptations like 4 different Teddy bears, new toys waiting to be banged and disfigured, cream colored sofa ready to be ripped and colored and fast aging parents available for entertainment always.

And so, things are just fine at our threesome household. Mira though excitedly points out Daadi whenever we go through our family album once in a while but she doesn’t really ask questions about her anymore. She also comes over to say a quick hello to her over the phone , unless she is obviously too caught up with hugging her teddies and tearing her books. Daadi on the other hand, hasn’t stopped talking about Mira ever since. There are detailed updates sought about her every other day - What new words have been added to her vocabulary?, Isn’t it too early for you guys to send her to school?, Can I send something for her through xyz?, Has she picked up “Twinkle Twinkle”?, Will she recognize me when I come next? etc. etc. etc.

And I guess this is how it will be for the next few months till we hit September. September – when Daadi comes over for her second round of visit to Bangkok and a new chapter in the Daadi-Poti relationship begins.

Mira in the 20th month

Motherhood is a weird thing. Some of the most ordinary and humdrum things in life suddenly assume high value when delivered by your little one. Mira has lately started combining words – probably the beginning of sentence formation at her end. So, unlike earlier when it was just about - Come, Sit, Bye Bye, Go, Hello; Mira has now moved to - Hello Mumma, Come Papa, Sit Deedi, No girl, Take Baby - all accompanied with a slight singing tone and an anticipation of a “very good” from the other end. Resultantly, I end up spending much more time with her while all my pending jobs slowly transcend from the important category to the urgent one.

Probably doing the To Do list is not such a great idea – huh?

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If a lion ever hears Mira talking about him, believe me, his ego would be down in the dumps. On the other hand, a rabbit might just feel elated and reassured about his cute positioning.

Still struggling to twist her tongue as the alphabets demand to be, Mira calls the Lion as Lana, Tiger as Taga and the Rabbit as Raba.

Don’t blame it on me - I’ve been doing my share to get things in order:

Me: Mira, TI...GER...

Mira (cheerfully): TA...GA...

Me: No Mira, say TI...

Mira(ok): Ti...

Me: GER…

Mira (ok): GARRRR…

Me: Very good, TIGER

Mira (Hey, I know this!): TAGA

Me: No Mira, TIGER

Mira (that’s right): TAGA

Me: TIGER…TIGER…TIGER

Mira: TAGA…TAGA…TAGA

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With absolute zero modesty, let me admit that I continue to remain Mira’s favorite person so far. But, you know given the fact that Papa is more of a weekend parent and gets very little time to spend with Mira over weekdays, I’ve to confess that he too is performing pretty decently on the popularity front.

But, there’s a difference between the way Mira greets me when I’m back from my unnecessary 2 hour long shopping v/s the way she greets Papa when he’s home after a long day’s hard work. With me, she is obviously jumping with joy, all eager to get onto my lap and spend some good fun time together while with Papa, she acts as if she hasn’t really noticed him and continues doing her stuff, though with a huge smile suppressed between her lips and a face going almost red with shyness.

It’s only when Papa has grabbed her off the bed and is half way though the acrobatic stuff that she bursts into squeals of laughter and is adamant about not letting go of him, even if it’s an urgent call of nature.

And so in short, though in very different manners both of us are receiving loads of attention from Mira and we are loving it to the hilt.

In fact sometimes it really makes me wonder as to who actually is the baby here!:-)

Paris, Carnac & Barcelona - The final part

Barcelona is a beautiful city. With soothing waterways and amazing architecture, Barcelona almost appeared like an apt cross between the lovely cities of Sydney and Rome to me.

But, it was not really the beauty that made Barcelona the best leg of our holiday; it was the liveliness rather. Imagine a city that has much wider streets for pedestrians than the roads - streets which are buzzing with people; live performances and human statue art constantly entertaining you as busy hawkers retail cheap but interesting stuff by the side. So much energy and life throbs into the city that it can almost lift you up from the lowest of moods and make you feel happy about the most mundane things in life.

The city also brims over with things to see – museums, squares, parks, churches, art galleries etc. Our favorite place though was the Sagrada Familia, a beautiful church envisioned by Spain’s modernist architect, Gaudi which is still in the process of being built.

It is a mammoth structure that depicts the birth as well as crucifixion of Jesus on its 2 facades, with 1 being still under construction. There are breath-taking statues all over it made of unusual materials and unbelievable precision. The monument though beautiful, leaves one with a strong sense of loneliness - the high ceiling, the expansive interiors and the somber statues set you up in an introspective mode as one surrenders oneself to the will of God.

While the Sagrada Familia presented the epitome of architecture to Papa and me, it didn’t quite make it to Mira’s list. For her, the biggest and the foremost highlight of Barcelona was pigeon chasing. Yup – pigeon chasing! She was off my lap as soon as she spotted some pigeons – chased them enthusiastically and chuckled loudly as they fluttered away into the sky.

The other highlight was Mira’s discovery of Mc Donald’s, rather Mc Donald’s chicken nuggets. Oh, I tell you these guys have just got the recipe right. For someone like Mira, who has rejected right from ice-creams to Cerelac, Mc Donald’s nuggets qualified as the rare ready made food which successfully made its way to her usually uncooperative mouth. Believe me, It was a divine sight and I was so very loving it!

Final highlight – the parks and the play areas. As soon as the guilt of visiting monuments, museums and other places of adult interest dawned upon us, we quickly relieved ourselves of the burden by visiting the closest park or play area. It was good fun as Mira and I rode the swings and enjoyed the rides while Papa dug his head into the city map to locate our next destination of interest.

In short, it was all going amazingly well till one fine morning when Mira got up to see her mom hurriedly dumping clothes into bags. She did declare “ghumi” and was confidently heading towards the stroller, but was whisked away and carried off to a waiting taxi instead - Barcelona airport being our next destination. Ironically, while Mira and I still longed to stay back to chase that one last pigeon or admire that one last monument, Papa was already dreaming about getting back to Bangkok – looking forward to gulping a full bowl of Thai noodles as he watched one of his latest DVDs on TV.

And guess what, we are back – back to the ordinary but deliciously familiar life. Nothing much has changed - the noodles are still being cooked, the DVDs still being played, the playroom still being frequented, except that a scatter-brained mom keeps visiting it every now and then to boast about her flawless planning and execution which got her entire family to spend a lovely holiday together – a holiday made of 11 long days, 3 unfamiliar places and a really harsh winter:-)