Mira & her Daadi

I was a bit disturbed when Daadi left Bangkok a couple of months back to head towards her house in Bhopal.

Daadi has been visiting us twice a year since as far back as I can remember. In fact, she has been visiting us since there was no "us" - Papa was a workaholic bachelor whose house could put any person with ordinary domestic skills to shame. A house where blankets pleaded to be folded, dust jeered at being preserved under the carpets and socks yearned to be paired with their correct soul mates yet again. Daadi's primary objective was to put the aforesaid house in order and then to spend some quality time with her long-separated son, if time permitted. Soon it was 2001 and Daadi's reasons for visiting had completely changed - it was time to bond with the daughter-in-law and teach her some face saving cooking so that our Bhopali neighbor doesn't undergo an unbearable torture called "Ghar ka khaana", on her only trip to Bangkok. September, 2006 and Mira appeared on the horizon - the most pleasurable, long-lasting and engaging reason till date for Daadi to come over and stay with us.

I was disturbed because Daadi had been for good 3 months with us and both Mira and she shared a special bond by now. Daadi's relationship with Mira was nothing like mine - she couldn't bathe her, massage her, run after her or do any of the physical stuff that took a toll on her health. But, there were other moments of companionship though. Every morning, while Daadi sipped her hot tea and glanced through the newspaper, Mira sat right next to her equally engrossed in her "Nursery Rhymes" book. The silence was regularly broken by "Aur yeh?" "Aur yeh?" as her little finger ran through unknown objects on the pages. Daadi was the one who introduced her to cakes, custard, eggs and her current favorite - chicken while I was so very happy serving the age old khichdi to her which was reluctantly but successfully finding its way through her mouth. Evenings were reserved for the kids' room and Daadi made it a point to be there each day. She sat in a corner making a mental note of her newly acquired skills while Mira happily slid through the yellow tunnel, rode in a toy car and climbed through a maze of ropes.

Initially, I was not too sure if Daadi was really bonding with Mira. She was constantly there but Mira was too brimming over with energy. Even on the bed, she was tempted to stand up and walk across every now and then only to be rescued by someone in the nick of time. The lack of physical involvement, I thought would probably get into the way but no, I was wrong. It was just a matter of few days and the signs of reciprocation were wide and clear. She was straight off to Daadi’s room as soon as she got up from sleep. She would climb onto the bed and sit exactly like her - her feet completely stretched out and back rested against a pillow, as another melodramatic saas-bahu serial played out on TV. She would suddenly get up from a partially played puzzle and bang on the bathroom door just to ascertain that Daadi is there, that Daadi is around.

I was worried that Mira will not take too kindly to Daadi’s sudden act of disappearance. I looked out for signs the next morning. Mira, as expected scooted off to Daadi’s room and then, went around the house looking for her. I told her that Daadi was off to India, now whatever that meant to a toddler’s little mind but I decided to deliver the truth – plain and simple. Another couple of days and she searched for her – sometimes in the TV room, sometimes in the kids’ room and sometimes in the balcony. But after that, things just got back to normal – after all, there are too many temptations available for a 20 month old to remain occupied and not slip into the deep recesses of unhappiness. Temptations like 4 different Teddy bears, new toys waiting to be banged and disfigured, cream colored sofa ready to be ripped and colored and fast aging parents available for entertainment always.

And so, things are just fine at our threesome household. Mira though excitedly points out Daadi whenever we go through our family album once in a while but she doesn’t really ask questions about her anymore. She also comes over to say a quick hello to her over the phone , unless she is obviously too caught up with hugging her teddies and tearing her books. Daadi on the other hand, hasn’t stopped talking about Mira ever since. There are detailed updates sought about her every other day - What new words have been added to her vocabulary?, Isn’t it too early for you guys to send her to school?, Can I send something for her through xyz?, Has she picked up “Twinkle Twinkle”?, Will she recognize me when I come next? etc. etc. etc.

And I guess this is how it will be for the next few months till we hit September. September – when Daadi comes over for her second round of visit to Bangkok and a new chapter in the Daadi-Poti relationship begins.